I have been putting off setting up this site until it was time to start "officially" telling people we are having a baby, but since Heidi just passed the 12-week mark...I figured it was about time to break the news. Now, I won't go and steal her thunder by giving a full introduction to what we are planning to do with this site over the next 6 months and beyond, but it should be alot of fun.
Instead, let me just share an interesting little article I came across today on the common fears expecting fathers face. According to the article the fall into 7 categories:
Seven fears expectant fathers face
- Security fears: Fear of not being able to provide financially.
- Performance fears: Fear of not being able to due your husbandly duties during the delivery (i.e. getting her to the hos pital, being in the delivery room without passing out)
- Paternity fears: Fear that the child may not be yours
- Mortality fears: Fear of your own death due to the fact having a child makes you realize you are not young anymore.
- Fear for your spouse's or child's health
- Relationship fears: Worries that your spouse will love the baby more than you.
- Fears of "women's medicine": Fear of the unknown factors of the OB/GYN.
Now many of these are completely ridiculous or don't apply (paternity fears, seriously?), but there are a few that are pretty dead-on if you ask me.
Financial worries pretty much a fact of life for us, and I have to say that is and has always been my number one concern about having a child. Luckily, I have a great support system in my family and know they will always be there to help, but it always feels like a failure o have to ask anyone for help in that area. Honestly, if I had all the money in the world I would have probably had kids sooner. But I've heard from plenty of people that no matter what you are never financially ready for kids, so you just have to take it as it comes.
Fear of my own mortality has never really been something that bothers me, mostly because so many people I know have lived great, active lives into their 80s and beyond. I know the fact is that I'm closer to 30 than 20 now, but still I feel like I will be young at heart well after the birth of my child. My parents proved that is possible a long time ago.
I do really worry a bit about Heidi's health. She has had numerous issues, ranging from mundane to quite serious, in the past. Although there is nothing that is setting off any red flags to this point, it is something that I know is always in the back of her mind and therefore has to be something I think about, at least a little.
As far as our relationship goes, I think it's bound to be a little bumpy at points, but then again it always has been. We are nothing if not aware of our own flaws, but I know that all the trying things that have happen through two years of marriage have only made us stronger and I am pretty confident this will be the same way.
And finally, the worst of all. I am deathly afraid of women's medicine. Everything bit of equipment is creepy, everything has ridiculously complicated names and women act as though men shouldn't even be allowed to know anything about how any of this works. Not knowing anything about a subject is creepy enough, but compound that with the fact that at least half of everyone you know has first-hand knowledge of the process and it gets really scary. And not a one of them will hesitate to present you with their opinion on the matter as if it was fact, quoted directly from the Bible or something.
It's quite frustrating, but I guess you just have to take it all with a grain of salt, knowing that none of it will help you in the end anyway. Maybe that's my biggest fear of all: the fact that we're gonna have to figure it all out on our own. Or maybe that's the fun part...who knows.
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Watch our for # 3! I don't want to see you in Jerry.
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